Scary and dumb, or cute and wise?
(the moral character of the bear in culture)

I must say that the initial ideas about the character of the bear were far from the soft and ennobled image that prevails in modern fairy tales and cartoons.

A shot from the movie "Masha and the Bear".

Take, for example, Russian folk tales, where this beast looks rather scary ("Linden Leg Bear"), but at the same time not very smart (for example, it tries to climb into a small tower). Not only the Fox ("Cat and the Fox") and the peasant ("Tops and Roots"), but even a little girl ("Masha and the Bear") are capable of holding it.
In addition, the word "bear" was called a clumsy or rude person. For example, in N. Nekrasov's poem "General Toptygin" the bear was mistaken for a general.

Or take the uncouth landowner from A. Chekhov's play "The Bear", based on which the film of the same name was shot in 1938.

Well, the most common tale on the "bear" theme is probably the story of three bears, in whose house an uninvited guest came.

It is believed that this plot gained popularity in the 1830s, when it was published by the English poet Robert Southey. In this arrangement, the uninvited guest was an old woman - I must say, extremely hooligan. Southey's acquaintance - Eleanor Muir - even brought this story to an enchanting absurdity. In her version, the action takes place in Rome, so at the end the mischievous old woman jumps out of the window of a multi-storey building and ... stumbles upon the spire of St. Paul's Cathedral!
Only in 1850, thanks to Joseph Candell, the tale takes on a familiar form, and the place of the old woman is taken by a little girl (later the tale will be called "Goldilocks and the Three Bears"). In Russia, the story of the three bears was "spun" by Leo Tolstoy. True, in his retelling the girl remained nameless, but all the bears received names - Mikhail Ivanovich, Nastasya Petrovna and Mishutka ...

The first - frankly cute - image of a bear appeared in 1894 in Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book. This, of course, is about Baloo, the wise teacher of the Law of the Jungle and the good-natured (albeit grouchy) guardian of the adoptive Mowgli.

The second cute fairy-tale bear appeared 30 years later. However, he owes his appearance not only to the writer, but also to the sick girl Margaret Steiff from the German town of Gingen.
Chained to a wheelchair by polio, she did not lose heart and began to make children's toys. Soon there was a demand for them, and the girl opened a workshop, and then an entire factory under the Steiff brand. It was from her conveyor in 1902 that the famous teddy bear came off, stuffed with sawdust and able to move its paws. The toy received an award at an exhibition in Leipzig, after which one of Margaret's relatives decided to conquer the American market as well.

This he succeeded in doing. Moreover, it was in the USA that the bear got its world-famous nickname - Teddy Bear - "Teddy Bear" - in honor of ... American President Theodore Roosevelt. Why in honor of him, is still not exactly known.
Some suggest that there were a lot of teddy bears at the wedding of Roosevelt's daughter, and the president liked them. According to another version, the hype story about how, during a hunt, Roosevelt took pity on a bear driven by dogs and considered it unsportsmanlike to kill a half-dead beast was to blame. True, the press kept silent about the fact that in the end the bear was still shot - so as not to suffer. But they inflated a touching story, where a bear cub took the place of an adult predator. It was also said that the bear cub softened the heart of an experienced hunter, and after that the president became a great protector of nature. There were even postcards with Roosevelt and bear cubs, where the latter said: "Thank you, Teddy!"

Political cartoon on the theme of Roosevelt and a bear cub in the Washington Post newspaper of 1902.

The popularity of teddy bears is also evidenced by the fact that after the death of the Titanic, the factory produced a special series of "mourning" toys - black.

Christopher Robin, the son of the English writer Alexander Alan Milne, also had his own teddy bear. It is to this trinity that we should be grateful for the appearance of fairy tales about Winnie the Pooh. For the first time this slow-witted, prone to poetry, appeared in Milne's children's poems. Then he was still called the magnificently ironic name Edward. The bear cub got its new name thanks to two inhabitants of the London Zoropark - the bear Winnie (from Winnipeg, Canada) and the swan nicknamed Pooh (in fact, the English "Pooh" sounds like "Pyu-yu" - an imitation of exhalation).

Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh.

From that moment on, cute bears and cubs simply filled books and screens. The Soviet animators did their best. Thanks to them, even adult bears have practically got rid of negative traits. Yes, these animals could be simple-hearted and clumsy, but for the most part they were calm, reasonable good-natured people. Often, a fairy-tale bear acted as a kind of arbiter or intercessor for the weak and offended. To anger him, however, was not recommended in any case ...

The true appearance of the owner of the taiga

To what extent does the "cultural" appearance of bears correspond to their natural nature?
Let's start with the fact that today in nature there are 7 species of these animals, which are united in the Ursidae family - from lat. Ursus - "bear" (hence the female name - Ursula).

Despite the differences between bear species, they are difficult to confuse with other predators. All bears are rather densely built animals with thick hair, a massive head, a short tail and powerful clawed paws. They walk, leaning on the whole foot and waddling (for which they were called "clubfoot"). However, the apparent clumsiness is very deceiving - if necessary, bears can run briskly, gaining speed up to 60 km per hour.

The most famous bear is the brown bear, common in forests almost throughout the Northern Hemisphere. It is far from always being pure brown - some individuals are lighter (reddish), some are darker (almost black). And in old bears, a noble gray hair appears at all.

By the way, this is how - "gray-haired, grayish" - the name "grizzly" is translated - one of the largest subspecies of the brown bear. However, its Latin name "horribilis" ("terrible") is much more impressive.

Grizzly paw print.

Another subspecies is even larger - Kodiak, which received its name from the island of the same name and lives in the very north of Canada and Alaska. The weight of kodiaks can reach 750 kg, and height - 3 meters.

Kodiak bear.

It is easy to guess that with such dimensions, the bear is not at all the good-natured bumpkin as it is represented in cartoons. To meet face to face with this predator is not particularly pleasant, because its behavior is unpredictable. Usually, when meeting a person, a bear retreats, but if the beast is hungry and (God forbid) injured, it can easily attack. Everything is used - powerful strength, backed by weight, huge fangs and 12-centimeter claws.

So, in 1823, a huge grizzly attacked Captain Smith - first he lifted his horse under him, and then grabbed the rider by the head. Although they were able to shoot the beast, he managed to tear off the captain's ear and almost scalped him. Smith had to sew rags of skin to his head right on the spot with an ordinary needle and thread ...

Another grizzly - nicknamed Old Moses - turned out to be more successful and scared the state of Colorado for 25 years - from 1869 to 1914. During this time, he managed to break eight hundred cows and kill five people (though only those who tried to shoot him). He left even more people stuttering, because he often liked to arrange "actions of intimidation" - he would sneak up to the fire, suddenly jump out and rush around the camp with a roar.

The fearlessness of bears is quite justified - for in nature they have practically no natural enemies. Often, predators are "corrupted" by people themselves: for example, despite the ban, they feed them in national parks. And then they wonder why the bears themselves visit their tents or beg, slowing down cars right on the highway.
They say that in the state of Alaska there is even a law that prohibits waking up a bear to take a picture with him (I would like to see the "hero" who created such a precedent). Quite eloquent posters can also be found in the settlements of Canada, where not only brown, but also polar bears often visit: “Do not become an object of statistics. Don't walk around the beast. Don't tease him. Keep your distance."

Enough cretins and in Russia. Literally at the time of writing this article, a video appeared on the Internet, filmed by some bastards from the Sakhalin region, who tried to run over a bear with an SUV, and eight times in a row. True, the wounded beast managed not only to escape from under the wheels of the tormentors, but also to tear the wheel in a rage. The hooligans, it seems, were caught, and now they are looking for a poor bear who may well take revenge on people - and completely innocent ones at that ...

I must say, we are so lucky that the bear is not a pure predator. It rarely hunts big game like deer and wild boar. It is much easier to take advantage of less frisky prey - to find carrion, watch for fish by the river during the spawning season, find larvae in a rotten tree, ruin a bee nest or "thin out" an anthill (several kilograms of ants were found in the stomach of one of these "gourmets"). There are many plants in the bear's diet - leaves, berries, fruits, nuts ...

It’s not easy for a bear to sort out food with its dimensions. After all, by autumn it is necessary to have time to work up a solid layer of fat, which will "feed" the animal during a long winter in a den. Bears arrange dens wherever they have to - under a windbreak, in a cave or a hole dug in the ground. In October-November, the clubfoot will climb there and go to sleep.
It is difficult to call it a full-fledged hibernation - the temperature of the animal's body drops by only 3-5 degrees. Therefore, from a strong irritant, a bear can easily wake up, unlike the same gopher that sleeps like a petrified corpse. If an awakened bear fails to fall asleep again, then it turns into a "rod" - nervous, hungry and therefore especially dangerous.

Surprisingly, bears give birth in the same winter. In fact, they represent only a small "break" in the middle of bear dreams. When born, the cubs bear little resemblance to the future owners of the taiga - compared to their mother, they are extremely small (500-800 grams) and, in addition, they are blind and deaf. In the medieval "Bestiaries" they even wrote that newborn cubs are born shapeless, like a piece of clay, and the female gives them shape, licking them with her tongue.

In fact, after giving birth, the cubs themselves crawl to their mother's nipples, after which the whole family continues to blissfully sleep until spring. At the same time, during hibernation, the bears do not even defecate, so as not to pollute the den. They have a kind of safety valve - an anal plug, and the accumulated feces are processed once again.
In the spring, the she-bear comes out into the world with cubs already half a meter long. Often, last year's brood (nursery) is nailed to this brood (of the year), which helps the mother to look after the younger ones.

Should I be afraid of the "Russian bear"?

"Fear means respect." Not a very pleasant principle, but very effective - especially in politics. No one negotiates with the weak and does not talk on an equal footing. As soon as small North Korea hinted at the presence of its own nuclear weapons, the United States immediately eased its sanctions. What can we say about more powerful countries. It's no secret that the same United States in the world is not particularly loved, but they understand that it is more expensive for themselves not to respect the state with the strongest army ...
And even though the bear, as a symbol of Russia, was invented by its enemies, the Russians eventually accepted this symbol as their own. Although they put into it a slightly different content ...

I. Shishkin "Morning in a pine forest".

The idea of ​​Russia as a "country of bears" was not accidental. The fact is that by the end of the Middle Ages, clubfoot from densely populated Western Europe, for the most part, was knocked out. The last individuals were crushed in order and took refuge in the impenetrable mountain forests.
But in the vast expanses of Russia, the bear felt quite comfortable, and he was considered a familiar beast. They used these animals for a variety of purposes: when - for amusement, when - for intimidation, and sometimes - for both at the same time.

So, according to the testimony of the English diplomat Jerome Horsey, Tsar Ivan the Terrible liked to arrange demonstration executions in the spirit of the Roman emperors, using live bears as executioners. To make the spectacle more dramatic, the rebellious monks were given " by the great mercy of the sovereign"long peaks for defense. It helped, however, not for long ...

However, fights with a bear were not only the lot of the doomed. For many, it was, albeit dangerous, but sport (or, as they said then, "well done fun"). For example, during the reign of Tsar Mikhail Romanov, the houndmaster Kondraty Korchmin especially distinguished himself, who for more than 10 years amused the public by fighting bears.

Bear fun was also popular during the time of Peter I. So Prince F. Yu. Razumovsky liked to travel around St. Petersburg in an embrace with bears or in a wagon harnessed by them. All this disgrace reached such proportions that in 1750 the daughter of Peter I - Empress Elizabeth - even had to issue a decree prohibiting keeping these animals in Moscow and St. Petersburg. However, the ferocious predator continued to be used by cheerful companies for unpretentious and cruel jokes.

In Russia, bears have been tamed for quite a long time. Sometimes they were even used in rituals related to fertility - for example, they were taken through the fields, or forced to step over a lying woman (if she could not get pregnant for a long time). In Ukraine, pregnant women poked a clubfoot with a finger: if he was silent, then a boy would be born, if he growled, a girl ...

Lubok "A bear with a goat is chilling." XVIII century.

But, of course, the main duty of a tame bear was to amuse the venerable audience - often along with a goat (although a masked man always acted as a goat).
The buffoon led the beast by the ring in his nose, made him walk on his hind legs, somersault, dance, and - after the performance - collect money in a hat. The bear was sometimes trained in a very cruel way. For example, cubs were placed in a cage with a copper bottom, after which the bottom was slowly heated until the unfortunate animal rose to its hind legs and began to dance in pain.
Over time, the "mummers" in the guise of a goat and a bear became regular participants in the Christmas holidays and the celebration of Maslenitsa.

Not all Christians liked the "demonic" buffoon performances. For example, the famous archpriest Avvakum once beat and drove away not only buffoons, but also their ... bears (as you can see, the leader of the Old Believers was in excellent physical shape).

In the West, it has long been believed that there are so many bears in Russia that they freely roam the streets of cities. These rumors began in the Notes on Muscovy by the Austrian diplomat Herberstein, where he described the famine that broke out in Russia in the winter of 1526 in the style of a real "horror".

Therefore, even Western European circus performers always insisted that their bears were the most "Russian" from the "distant northern forests".
The reputation of Russia as the patrimony of bears was once again strengthened by the Moscow circus, which showed real miracles of training. In the 1920s, these predators were taught to ride bicycles (remember Korney Chukovsky - "The bears rode a bicycle ..."?), in the 1950s - on motorcycles, and then - the bears learned to ride horses, tumble on bars and even play hockey.

We can also recall the famous bear Wojtek, who became a kind of "son of a regiment" in the Polish army.

Either the soldiers turned out to be excellent trainers, or Wojtek himself was naturally capable, but he soon learned very ingenious tricks. For example, to salute or ... to help bring ammunition. The last thing happened to the bear by itself - one day he approached the car with shells, stood on his hind legs, and the soldier, taking advantage of the moment, thrust a box into his front paws. The bear soon became a permanent loader and helped a lot in 1944 during the Battle of Monte Cassino in Italy. As a result, the 22nd company even chose a new emblem for itself, which depicted Wojtek carrying a projectile. And once the bear even managed to drive an Arab spy working for the Germans onto a palm tree...

Training bears is not as easy as it might seem. Their facial expressions are poorly developed, so it is not easy to guess what the predator has in mind at one time or another. Bears are especially dangerous in the "critical" adolescence, when they begin to rage, obey poorly and can attack unexpectedly.

But back to the cliche called “Russian bear”…
Since the 16th century, the clubfoot has increasingly begun to appear on maps as a symbol of Russia. However, British cartoonists played a major role in consolidating this association. From the middle of the 19th century, the interests of the British and Russia constantly clashed - either in Central Asia (this confrontation was called the "Great Game"), then in the Crimea, then in Europe, then in the Far East. The English lion and the Russian bear constantly became the heroes of the cartoons.

Take, for example, cartoons from the time of the "Great Game". Here is the Afghan emir standing between the Bear and the Lion, and the signature below: "Save me from my friends!".

Here the Bear sat on the Cat (Persia), and the Lion was watching this with displeasure (the signature is also ironic "Between Friends").

And here is a French cartoon from 1893 about the Franco-Russian alliance. On it, in one bed, a naked girl-France is depicted, insidiously caressing the Russian Bear. Signature: “Tell me, dear, I will give you my heart, but will I get your fur coat in winter?”.

It would seem that what's wrong with the image of a bear? However, the British interpreted it in a completely certain way: Russia is a wild, uncivilized country, not very smart, clumsy, trusting and submissive if kept on a leash, but dangerous if angered or not restrained.

In this regard, R. Kipling's poem "The World with the Bear" is very indicative. It told the story of a crippled Kashmiri hunter who once took pity on a begging bear and did not shoot - for which he immediately paid dearly. In my youth, I did not see any background in this verse, however, it was there and the most specific.
"World with a Bear" was written in August 1898. This year, Russia was involved in the conflict in Manchuria and asked Britain to withdraw its troops from Port Arthur. The British initially agreed, until they learned that Russia was secretly going to buy ships from Germany - Britain's worst enemy. In addition, in the same August of 1898, Emperor Nicholas II proposed to convene the first "peace" conference in The Hague in order to adopt more humane rules for warfare, as well as to ban the most inhuman types of weapons (like explosive bullets or gases).

Here is the faithful "singer of the British Empire" - Kipling - and tried with his poem to warn Europe against excessive gullibility towards Russia. He said that although the poems are based on real facts, they are, above all, "an allegory of Russia's entry into civilized Europe". Sending "The World with a Bear" to "Times" he asked to print the verse not in the literary, but in the political column. Kipling wrote: “I need a column in The Times to reach out to people of integrity who believe that Russia can behave in a civilized way”.

However, Kipling's opinion about Russia was well expressed in the story "Former": “Understand me correctly: every Russian is the sweetest person until he gets drunk. As an Asian, he is charming. And only when he insists that the Russians be treated not as the most western of the eastern peoples, but, on the contrary, as the easternmost of the western ones, does it turn into an ethnic misunderstanding, which, really, is not easy to deal with ”.

It is interesting that in 1911 Yakov Priluker, who emigrated from Russia to Britain, published a picture book in which he tried to reconcile the English lion with the Russian bear. True, in a rather peculiar manner - according to the plot, it is the lion who helps the bear to free himself from the cage (you must understand, the cages of "barbaric totalitarianism ...").

The image of the "Russian bear" - wild and stupid - was perfectly used by other "European partners". For example, in a German magazine in 1942, a cartoon depicting the loss of the Soviet Union was drawn in the form of a bear roaring in pain, having lost its paw, which symbolized Sevastopol captured by the Nazis.

And here is a Latvian cartoon from 1991, gloating about the collapse of the USSR: in it, a bear in a cap comes to the doctor with a complaint: “ Doctor, I feel like I'm slowly falling apart". It is interesting that the bear in both drawings is not terrible, but pathetic, moreover, pig features are clearly visible in it ...

The cartoons, of course, are offensive, but the Russians did not treat the bear itself worse. On the contrary, they accepted this symbol, laying in it exclusively positive. Yes, we are huge, but by no means stupid. We ourselves will figure out how to live in our "taiga", but it's really not worth making us angry... It's not for nothing that the bear has become a symbol of the pro-presidential United Russia party. Its competitors - "Fair Russia" - immediately took on the emblem of the tiger - the only serious rival of the brown bear in nature.

But perhaps the cutest "Russian bear" was the symbol of the 1980 Moscow Olympics. Back in 1977, the State Committee decided to choose the "native" bear for the role of the Olympic symbol. The call was thrown to Soviet artists - to prepare sketches, where Mishka would embody strength, prowess and kindness.
As a result, the sketch of Viktor Chizhikov, who was nicknamed Misha the Bear, won, although according to the artist, the full name of the hero was Mikhailo Potapych Toptygin. The only unresolved problem was the traditional Olympic symbols, which must have been present on the character. Chizhikov recalled that the idea came to him literally in a dream - and the famous belt appeared on Misha in the colors of five parts of the world and a clasp in the form of Olympic rings.

The Olympic bear cub was replicated everywhere - on badges, mugs and postcards, in cartoons and in the form of toys ...

But Misha performed especially effectively at the closing ceremony of the Olympics. One of the "chips" of the ceremony was a huge "screen" of four and a half thousand living people who, in the right order, raised colored shields, forming a certain picture - including the Bear cub. When the Olympic flame went out, a touching tear ran down Misha's cheek. This creative idea came about by accident, when during one of the rehearsals someone forgot to raise his shield.

However, the most touching moment came later, when a large rubber doll of the Bear cub filled with helium rose above the stadium and flew into the sky to the sound of Pakhmutova and Dobronravov's song "Goodbye, our affectionate Misha." By the way, the doll learned to fly vertically only when her legs were weighted and balloons were tied to her paws...

Having made his farewell flight, Misha landed on Sparrow Hills. For a while, the doll stood at VDNKh, and then it was placed in a warehouse, where the kindest "Russian bear" was symbolically eaten by rats...

Bear in names, sayings and popular expressions

Berne

Although many linguists are convinced that the name of the Swiss capital contains a different root than the German word "Bar" ("bear"), popular rumor does not agree with this. Which is displayed on the coat of arms of the city, as well as in the accompanying legend.
According to the latter, the founder of Bern - Berthold von Zähringen - a duke and an avid hunter - decided to name the city after the first beast that he would kill in the surrounding forests. Judging by the result, bears were still plentiful in Switzerland in the 12th century...

Coats of arms of Bern and Yaroslavl.

A similar legend explains the appearance of Toptygin on the coat of arms of Yaroslavl, where the beast, "standing, holds a golden ax in its left paw." This time, Yaroslav the Wise encountered the bear - though not of his own free will. The she-bear herself attacked the prince in the dense forests along the Volga, but he contrived and hit the beast with an axe. It is believed that it was in memory of this incident that Yaroslav built a chapel on the site of the attack, and later founded the city. It is interesting that a village with the eloquent name "Bear's Corner" was located nearby.

"Bear Corner"

Since bears rarely walk the streets, but rather hide in dense forests, the expression “Bear Corner” eventually began to mean a remote backwater - far from the turbulent flow of life. The expression gained particular popularity after the story of the same name by P.I. Melnikov-Pechersky.

"Suck paw"

Of course, in order to survive the winter, a bear does not need to suck anything at all. Accumulated over the summer, subcutaneous fat is perfectly processed in the body and without extraneous manipulations.

Despite its unscientific nature, the expression has survived to this day. But, if the proverb recorded in the Dahl Dictionary says: “A bear sucks one paw, but lives full all winter,” then the modern expression “suck a paw” means, on the contrary, life from hand to mouth.

"Lead by the nose"

In order to make it easier to control a tame bear, the guides threaded the ring into one of the most painful places of the animal - its nose. For which the beast was driven, at the same time seducing handouts for performing various tricks. As a result, the expression "Lead by the nose" has come to mean "to deceive, manipulate, do not fulfill the promise."

However, the human nose is also a rather fragile organ. Suffice it to recall the faces of boxers or the cruel school fun - "cream", when they twisted the tip of someone else's nose with their fingers ...

“The bear stepped on the ear ...”

Since the bear is a heavy animal, and besides, not very melodic, this expression began to be used in relation to people who are completely devoid of a musical ear.

"Sharing the skin of an unkilled bear"

The saying came into our everyday life after the translation into Russian of the fable "The Bear and the Two Hunters" by the French writer of the 17th century - La Fontaine. The heroes of the fable are arrogant hunters who took a deposit for the skin of a still unkilled bear, drank and ate with this money, and then went into the forest with a light heart. However, as a result, they themselves almost fell from the bear's paws ...

The expression "Sharing the skin of an unkilled bear" is usually used in the sense of "building unfounded calculations on nothing" or "discussing the benefits of a plan that has not yet been realized."

"Disservice"

This expression also takes its origins in Lafontaine's fable, known in Ivan Krylov's arrangement as "The Hermit and the Bear".
It must be said here that many Christian hermits really got along with bears. For example, Serafim Sarovsky, during his hermitage in the forest, became close friends with one Toptygin. The beast often came to the hermit's dwelling, and he fed him - right from his hands ...

So ... The heroes of Krylov's fable were also bosom friends, until the Bear decided to drive away the flies from the sleeping Hermit.

It is not difficult to guess that “a disservice” means a service that does more harm than good. Or, as it is written in the same fable: A helpful fool is more dangerous than an enemy".

"Bearcub"

In thieves' jargon, a "bear cub" is a name for a specialist who opens safes and locks. Today, when filigree, sensitive hearing and dexterous fingers are required from a lockpicker, it is difficult to understand why this sophisticated "specialty" has become associated with a clumsy bear. And the thing is that before the safes were not so perfect, and their opening required remarkable "bear" strength.

According to another version, the name "bear cub" could also come from the thieves' L-shaped hook "bear cub", which was used to open lever locks. True, and in this case, the force was not superfluous.

"Help bear!"

This, almost, the first Russian Internet meme appeared thanks to ... a picture. It was drawn (or, more precisely, painted) by American actor and jazzman John Lurnier. The picture came out unpretentious, but quite funny. It showed a couple having sex in the woods, and in front of her - out of the bushes, a bear with raised paws and exclamation "Surprise!" ("Surprise!").
In 2006, a user under the nickname Labzz not only reposted the picture, but also Russified it, turning the English "Surprise" into the Russian "Hi". More precisely, "Preved" in the then fashionable style of the so-called. "padonskogo" (deliberately distorted) language.

Soon, the exclamation "Preved!" became no less popular than "Afftar zhzhot" or "laughing". This exclamation began to be used even in "off-line", accompanying the greeting with a characteristic throwing up of hands.

Of particular popularity is the expression "Preved, bear!" acquired in 2008, when Dmitry Medvedev was elected President of the Russian Federation.

Burning Bear

Less well known is another web meme, which has its origins in the following great anecdote:

“The bear was walking through the forest. I saw a burning car. Sat in it - and burned down.

It is impossible to explain where to laugh here - the anecdote is extremely absurd, therefore it is either "learned" the first time, or not learned at all.

The absurdity of the joke caused a great response on the Internet, which manifested itself in the form of a variety of imitations, parodies and demotivators. Here are just a few of them.

Arctic

Let's start with the fact that "arktos" in Greek means "bear". However, do not rush to associate the name of the northern circumpolar region with the polar bears living there. The ancient Greeks had in mind the animals of heaven - namely the constellations Ursa Major and Ursa Minor.
Firstly, with the help of them, the North Star was found in the sky, which, as you know, always points to the north. Secondly, the Greeks knew that the more you climb to the north, the higher the Big Dipper rises above your head. It is not for nothing that on the flag of the northernmost state of the USA - Alaska - we can see both the polar star and the so-called. "bucket" Ursa Major.

As for the name of the southern circumpolar region - "Antarctic", everything is simpler here - it means "Anti-Arctic".

Master of the Arctic

Polar bears are real polar nomads who rarely come to the mainland. Most of their lives they drift on ice floes, sometimes reaching almost the North Pole.

There are cases when ice floes with polar bears were carried by the current as far as the southeast of Greenland, where they melted, dooming many clubfoot to death. Sometimes the animals were brought even further south - for example, to the Japanese island of Hokaido...

Polar bears arrange more or less permanent "apartments" only in winter, when the time comes to have offspring. By the way, due to the harsh living conditions and long maturation, this happens only once every three years. Females equip their maternity dens on the northern islands (Wrangel Island, Franz Josef Archipelago). During this period, usually unsociable animals form dense clusters - for example, 180-200 she-bears gather on Wrangel Island.

Having dug a lair in the thickness of the snow, the female plunges into a kind of half-sleep (it cannot be called a real hibernation), during which she gives birth to a couple of tiny 600-800-gram cubs. The difference in size between newborns and parents is impressive - after all, polar bears are the largest representatives of the predatory order (up to 1000 kg in weight and 3 m in length).

Despite the fact that the polar bear is the closest relative of the brown bear (they can even interbreed), it is impossible to confuse them. And not only because of the color of the fur.
Unlike the brown bear, the polar bear has a relatively small head with small ears and a straight nose, as well as a rather long neck.

In addition, the owner of the Arctic has larger fangs than the owner of the taiga, but the molars are less developed.
The thing is that the polar bear is a 100% predator. Actually, that's why he almost never visits the mainland tundra - it is extremely difficult to feed such a carcass there. Even the eyesight of this predator is adapted to snow and ice expanses. If polar explorers are blinded by "whiteout", then the bear, on the contrary, sees very poorly, being on ordinary land.

The Latin name of the polar bear is also very eloquent - Ursus Maritimus, which translates as "sea bear". Indeed, this predator swims excellently - some individuals were met hundreds of kilometers from the nearest ice floe or land.

In addition to complete mechanical insulation (wool covers the entire body of the bear - even the soles and ears), a solid layer of fat saves the beast from the cold water. The bear dives with its eyes open, but at the same time tightly squeezes the ear openings and nostrils.

At the same time, the main diet of this predator is not fish at all, but various types of seals - large, fat and nutritious animals. In hunting for pinnipeds, the bear relies not only on its power, but also on a sensitive scent (it smells the smell of burning fat from 6 km away) and dexterity. Sensing and noticing a seal on the shore, the clumsy giant practically creeps up to the victim, not forgetting to cover his black eyes and nose with his paws, or pushing a “camouflage” piece of ice in front of him.
Often a bear sits in ambush, watching for seals near the polynya. As soon as a seal wants to breathe fresh air, a powerful blow of a clawed paw falls on its head. It happens that the polynya is smaller than the seal itself, but this is not a hindrance to the bear. His strength is enough to pull the victim to the surface, simultaneously breaking all her ribs.
The bear also likes to hunt seal babies - the so-called. seals, which are looking for, digging snow.

The only pinniped that the polar predator prefers not to mess with is the walrus. Being in the same weight category as a bear, and even having solid fangs, a walrus is quite capable of finishing off a predator (especially if the battle takes place in the water). Sometimes the duel ended in a "draw", and then people found two grappled corpses. Researchers have noticed that even on rookeries, walruses do not panic when they see a bear, and he, in turn, usually does not dare to attack openly.

Engraving made by Chukchi carvers on a walrus tusk.

Polar bears have no natural enemies in the Arctic, they rarely see people, and therefore they treat the latter without much fear. These predators are extremely curious and are not averse, on occasion, to visit the warehouses of polar explorers. Such visits are equally dangerous for both people and bears. Although in reality, tragedies rarely happen. For example, from the 1930s to 1967, only nine such precedents were recorded in the USSR (of which four were fatal).

The sentient and armored bear Jorni Birnisen from the fantasy film The Golden Compass.

The first skins of a polar bear or "ushkuy" (as it was called in Russia) Russian hunters began to bring in the XII-XIII century. Even earlier, the Eskimos began to hunt this predator. Despite the fact that it is not so easy to overwhelm a bear with a knife or a harpoon, the most difficult thing in hunting was considered to be the detection of a victim. If it was said about some Eskimo boy: "He killed his first bear," this usually meant that the boy saw him first. The one who discovered the bear also got the skin.

Hunting for a polar bear (drawing of 1598).

When the number of polar predators began to decline sharply, hunting for them began to be banned or limited. For example, in the Soviet Union, polar bear hunting was completely banned in 1956.

Other bears and giant panda

Let's start with the least colorful look - black bear , which in North America is called "baribal". It differs not so much from the brown fellow - except that the size is smaller, the skin is darker, the legs are slimmer and the muzzle is sharper. In addition, it climbs trees much faster.

Loves tree life even more bear Himalayan or white-breasted. On the trees, he eats, hides, and even arranges lairs in hollows. Climbs dexterously (better than cats, which always have a problem with the descent). It is especially amusing to watch how, smacking his lips, he eats the foliage from a broken branch, after which for some reason he puts the branch itself under his ass. The appearance of this bear is also very memorable - in addition to the white shirt-front on the chest, it is distinguished by a narrow muzzle, flat forehead and chic large ears.

Despite its name - the Himalayan - the range of this bear is much wider than the forests of the Himalayas. It is found from the Amur and Primorsky taiga to the jungles of India and Indochina. No wonder the Soviet animators logically decided to depict the hero of "Mowgli" - Baloo - as a white-breasted bear. That's just Kipling himself still had in mind a brown bear - although it is not so characteristic of India. The writer makes it clear "…Baloo, the sleepy brown bear…".

In the same India, there lives another wonderful bear, nicknamed sloth . He is extremely shaggy, and with shaggy ears he can compete with the poodle itself. His claws are huge - and this is no coincidence.

The fact is that the gubach is not so much a predatory animal (in the usual sense), but an insectivore. He needs his claws to hunt... insects and their larvae. With its paws, the bear breaks rotten trees and termite mounds, after which a long muzzle and very mobile bare lips are used. He pulls them out into a tube and begins, like a vacuum cleaner, to suck up all the small living creatures (which is also facilitated by the absence of a pair of upper incisors). At the same time, the beast sucks so that you can hear it all over the district ...

In the neighborhood with sloth - on the Indochina peninsula - lives bear malay , is also quite remarkable. Firstly, it is the smallest of the bears (length - 110-140 cm, weight - up to 65 kg). Secondly, the most unshaggy - his coat is short, smooth and shiny (even skin folds appear through it). In addition, the muzzle of this bear is decorated with an orange spot, and the chest is decorated with the same orange shirt-front. A very "neat" image is violated only by solid hooked claws necessary for climbing trees.

Bears do not live in Australia, Africa and Antarctica. Climbed as far south as possible spectacled bear - the only representative of the bear family in South America. By the way, it is South America - the birthplace of Paddington Bear - the hero of the British film of the same name .... year. They just portrayed Paddington as more like a brown bear than a spectacled one. A spectacled bear is also spectacled to have white stripes around the eyes.
But, describing the lifestyle of Paddington, the directors are not far from the truth. The spectacled bear really lives in nests in trees. In addition, it is a very herbivorous beast. Its main diet is leaves, roots and fruits.

However, the spectacled bear is far from a staunch vegetarian - giant panda . This is probably one of the cutest animals in the world, which can only compete with the Australian marsupial "false bear" - the koala. The coloring of the big panda was already touching - it seemed that black paws, ears and glasses around the eyes were sewn on to the polar bear. In addition, it is one of the rarest and most expensive (literally) animals on the planet.

For a long time, the panda managed to hide from civilized mankind in the remote mountainous provinces of China. Until in 1869, the French missionary and naturalist Jean-Pierre Armand David was sold in China the skin of an amazing animal, which the locals themselves called "bei-shung" (polar bear). At first, the skin seemed to be a fake, sewn from black and white patches. However, they soon managed to get a whole (albeit killed) "bei-shung".

True, the scientific debate did not end there. Scientists thought about what family the new species belongs to and how to name it? At first he was called the bamboo bear. However, having delved into the study of the skeleton, they found a lot similar to another animal - the red panda. Although outwardly the bamboo bear did not look like it at all, it was urgently renamed the big panda and brought into the raccoon family. In Soviet books (until the early 1990s), both pandas were considered relatives for a long time, until scientists changed their minds and decided that the giant panda still has more bear features than raccoon ones.

The first living giant panda was caught in 1916, but died soon after. Only in 1936 did an American fashion designer, Ruth Harkness, succeed in fulfilling the wish of her late husband, a zoologist, and safely deliver a female panda to San Francisco, which they named Su-Ling (“a small piece of great value”).
In the late 1950s, two male pandas also appeared in the Moscow Zoo: first - Ping-Ping, then - An-An. The problem of breeding rare species in captivity has always been acute. Therefore, in 1966, the British offered to "marry" their female Chi-Chi to our An-An. Unexpectedly, it turned out that cute pandas are very picky in choosing a partner. Chi-Chi was taken to Moscow, then An-An was taken to London, but "love" between the pandas did not happen (moreover, it came to fights).
But at the Beijing Zoo, things turned out differently. Already in 1963, the first baby panther was born there, and a year later - another one ...

Watching pandas from the side is a real pleasure, because by nature they are born circus performers: they will either stand on their heads, or somersault, or sit down, leaning their backs and leaning on a stone, that your dad is in an armchair. They say that in nature they often escape from enemies in a rather amusing way - they close their eyes with their paws and roll head over heels down the mountain.
True, with age, giant pandas lose their playfulness and turn into slow sloths. Actually, that's why the name of the famous cartoon "Kung Fu Panda" initially contained a certain amount of irony and sounded the same as "Hare Hare".

As you know, plant food is less nutritious than animal food, therefore, in order to satisfy the needs of its 100-140-kilogram carcass, the giant panda has to devote almost half a day to food. By the way, unlike other bears, pandas have well-developed paw motor skills, which allows them to deftly manipulate a bamboo stalk.

Even after the Second World War, China declared the habitats of "bei shungs" protected, and then completely banned the export of these animals from the country. No wonder this rare and cute animal has become a symbol of the World Wildlife Fund.