How to resolve conflict at work psychology. Breaking friendship with a colleague. What are the causes of conflict at work?

One third of an adult's life is spent sleeping. The rest of his conscious time (400 hours a month) is devoted to work and leisure. Moreover, 160 of them, 2/5 of the total time, are given to work for the benefit of society. If a person has conflicts at work, then he is under stress almost half the time.

There are situations when an increase in adrenaline in the blood contributes to the achievement of high results, records, the birth of masterpieces. Athletes, artists, musicians and artists can work successfully in such an internal limiting state.

However, for the average member of society, an extraordinary situation that causes them to experience strong negative emotions can disable them for a long time. What kind of efficiency can we talk about if the eyes are covered with tears of resentment, the hands are shaking, and I want to run?!

The conflict situation negatively affects the results common labor also because it ceases to be collective. Sometimes the conflict of interests not only completely excludes mutual assistance, but even gives rise to sabotage.

A conflict between engineering workers from different departments can only spoil their mood, but discord in the team will certainly affect the quality and efficiency of the work of the entire team.

Causes and types of conflicts at work

With colleagues

Disputes and quarrels

Conflict is disagreement between people. As in a dispute, so in a quarrel, there is no agreement. What is the difference then:

1. Arguing colleagues do not set themselves the goal of offending, humiliating the opponent. The task of the parties, on the contrary, is to make the enemy their ally, convincing him that he is wrong. It is in such disputes that truth is born. Such conflicts are called constructive.
2. Quarreling people also have a theme of disagreement. But they do not put forward convincing arguments, but by influencing the feelings of the enemy, they try to frighten him, eliminate him, and force him to remain silent. Appealing not to the mind, but to the feelings, it is impossible to get to the bottom of the truth. These conflicts, in which victory at all costs is more important than finding a solution to the problem, are considered to be destructive.

Both those and other examples of behavior are possible between colleagues, but have different consequences.

If disputes result in positive results, give experience in cooperation and improve relations in the team, then quarrels, on the contrary, create intolerant relationships, worsen mood, lead away from common purpose and reduce work efficiency.

interpersonal conflict

Most often, in a team, it appears on the basis of dissatisfaction with the inequality in the distribution of benefits, resources, burdens or sanctions. This happens often where several people do the same job.

Discontents and calculations begin not only in places where there is a shortage of resources or goods, and not only where the pressures are very high and the sanctions are terrible. Distribution conflicts happen even in the most successful organizations.

Personality and group

If there is a conflict in the team with a colleague who violates the norms of behavior, communication, appearance accepted here, it is natural and justified. But not only that.

Sometimes the reason for a "boycott" may be the existence of an informal leader whose personal interests are pushing for conflict. A support group forms around him. It is difficult to get out of this situation. You will either have to recruit the same group of associates or overcome your pride and have a heart-to-heart talk with the leader.

With the leader

Internal conflict

Often there are leaders who give themselves completely to work. The need to be a husband, wife, father, mother, to live a full life family life and the impossibility of doing so tear apart the human psyche. The director breaks down on his subordinates, sees them as guilty in this situation.

Convince the boss?

Does it make sense to confront the leader? Yes, if there is real support from outside and above, if a quarrel precedes dismissal.

And if the boss listens carefully to the claims, gets inspired and, despite the risk of losing respect from the rest of the team, admits that he is wrong. This perspective of conflict resolution is found only in the cinema. In reality, "the boss is always right, and if he is wrong, read the first paragraph."

1. To prevent conflict situations, to clear the ground for their growth, the leader needs to fairly distribute material wealth. Having accurate information, it is correct to distribute "gingerbread and slaps in the face."
2. Gossip and denunciations should not be encouraged.
3. Don't be afraid to get fired.
4. No public showdowns allowed.
5. To resolve the conflict, one should not take sides, at least apparently.
6. A real leader should be happy when his subordinates not only go out with songs to the subbotnik together, but also demand from him all together not to dismiss the grandfather-watchman-veteran.

If such a team can be brought up, the leader will have someone to rely on in difficult times.

1. When applying for a job, find out, as much as possible about their professional duties, salary, bonuses, rules of conduct in a team, work schedule, dress code, etc. This information will save you from disappointments, resentment, the first conflicts and tell you what to do if they arise.
2. Remember, the team does not require to walk with everyone in step, but it will not allow you to stand out strongly from the pack. You cannot be allowed to smoke in a room where everyone else is a non-smoker. Do not annoy the team with your extravagance. Believe me, everyone here is like that, but they know how to comply with the measure.
3. Don't fight, argue. It's great when a difference of opinion does not lead to a fight, but to a compromise. Never discuss the appearance and character of an opponent when it comes to an accounting report.

How to behave to avoid office disputes

Everything listed in the previous section should be repeated here. But you can add different situations.

Gossip

Very often conflicts arise because of gossip and rumors. The more you are closed, the less information the team has about you, the more your colleagues will think, think about your personal life. This is how a person works - everything unknown excites and intrigues him.

It's easy to deal with this. Tell all about yourself. It is not interesting to write on already printed text. You will no longer be a "blank slate" that can be filled with any scribble. Gossip will die on its own.

Envy

Nothing can change this feeling. There are people who can envy anything. even your 6 fingers on your hand. Try to talk heart to heart and tell how uncomfortable it is when there are 6 fingers on your hand. Or just ignore the negative message, believing: if they are jealous, then there is something.

You must behave honestly, with dignity and never leave office disputes. Avoid quarrels! Remember that anyone who insults you in a quarrel can be discouraged (even defeated) by your calm smile “And I love you.”

Video: Conflict at work

Today we will touch on a serious problem - this is conflicts at work. You might be asking why this is such a big problem? I will try to answer you... Firstly, the frequent occurrence of conflicts at work affects the well-being, mood and psycho-physiological state of a person. Any conflict between people Negative influence on opponents, while the strength of the destructive impact directly depends on the strength of the conflict. Secondly, in the event of a conflict situation, a person loses his usual level of performance. Most often, the employee is covered by feelings and thoughts related to the conflict. At the same time, the period of a decrease in a person’s working capacity under the influence of this factor depends on those individual psychological qualities that a person possesses. Thus, the emergence of conflicts in the team can become a serious problem for the employer and the employees themselves.

In this article, we will look at the reasons for the formation conflict situations in the workplace and ways to manage such conflicts. In the previous article, we studied what conflict is and what are the options for people's behavior when contradictions arise. Therefore, we will not deal with these issues here.

The first and most important thing you need to know to resolve conflict situations is the causes of their occurrence. Understanding the source of the conflict, you can find the right approach to resolving contradictions.

What are the causes of conflict at work?

1. Psychological incompatibility of people forced to work with each other. For example, if one of the workers performing joint work is choleric (more active type), and the second is melancholic (slow), then it is likely that a conflict situation may arise between these people.
2. Incorrect distribution of work responsibilities. Each employee has his own range of duties, however, there are situations when an employee, by various tricks, shifts from his shoulders to the shoulders of another function for which he is paid a salary. It is clear that no one wants to do more work for the same money, so a conflict arises.
3. Interpersonal relationships in a collective. This reason can be attributed to both the relationship between two employees and the prevailing psychological climate in the team, while the latter has greatest influence to the development of the conflict. That is, when personal hostility arose between two employees, it can be said with certainty that there will be a conflict. However, the conflict situation can become larger if negative attitude to the employee will be supported by all or part of the team. The support of one or another participant in the conflict by the members of the team gives confidence to such an employee and prompts further aggressive actions towards the opponent. At the same time, a close-knit team is able, by influencing the participants in the conflict, to quickly resolve the current situation.
4. misunderstanding of each other. Quite often, conflicts arise on the basis of misunderstanding. Communicating with each other, we do not always listen to our interlocutor, we interrupt him even more often, not giving him the opportunity to express his thought. However, this manner of communication is unacceptable, interacting with people, it is necessary to show respect for each other. Misunderstanding can also arise in connection with speech barriers: communication of employees in different languages, both in direct and in figuratively. It happens that an educated professor will not be able to convey his idea to a simple worker, because. they have different culture communication and vocabulary.

We examined the main causes of a conflict situation at work. However, this does not give us the question: How to resolve team conflict? As we have already said, the team itself, individual members of the team and the leader can influence the resolution of the conflict. So, a person occupying a certain leadership position is able to have the greatest influence on the participants in the conflict. This is due to the fact that the bosses in most cases have a certain social status and have authority among the workers. At the same time, the leader is interested in a positive resolution of the conflict, because otherwise, this situation will affect the performance of the entire team.

Consider what methods A.B. Dobrovich to resolve the conflict by the leader:

1. The employer takes turns inviting the conflicting parties for a conversation, during which he tries to establish the causes of the collision, clarifies the facts and makes decisions about the conflict.
2. The head invites opponents to express claims against each other at a general meeting of the entire team. The decision to resolve the conflict is made on the basis of the opinion of the meeting participants.
3. If, despite the actions taken, the conflict does not subside, the leader may resort to sanctions against opponents (from comments to administrative penalties).
4. If the conflicting parties cannot reach an agreement, then actions are taken to reduce communication between the parties to the conflict.

It should be noted that the above direct methods of settlement conflict at work are not the only ones. The most effective in resolving a conflict situation are indirect principles settlement of the conflict, this will be discussed in the following articles. Therefore, if you are interested in how you can influence the participants in the conflict, subscribe to our articles.

In conclusion, I want to note that when choosing a way to resolve a conflict at work, it is worth considering the reasons that gave rise to the contradiction. Understanding what drives a person, it is easy to change the trajectory of his movement!

If you are close to the topic of conflicts, leave your opinion about the article in the comments or put likes.)))

I will be immensely grateful to you!

An enterprise, on whatever basis of kindness and partnership it is based, is not possible without conflicts that arise from time to time. The existing corporate culture prompts formed and adopted in this organization ways to resolve emerging conflict situations.

So, let's figure out what conflict is, is it so terrible for the organization. Conflict- this is a contradiction that has arisen between two or more people who are trying to resolve them with varying degrees of emotionality. It may occur for completely different reasons - production, when, for example, you and your deputy see the solution of a certain situation differently, between employees in the department who cannot share one computer, fax or telephone, between the foreman and workers due to a lack of authority of the leader, etc. The conflict may appear open (in the form of a discussion, dispute, clarification of relationships) or covertly (without verbal and effective manifestations), then it is rather felt in a painful thunderstorm atmosphere. Contributes to hidden conflict bad psychological microclimate in the team, innuendo, mutual distrust, hostility, aggressiveness, dissatisfaction with oneself. The reason for the start of the conflict can be both objective (to accept or not to accept, for example, this or that employee, since you see the result of his work in your team differently), and subjective (to put on makeup or not), since the result it has nothing to do with work, it's just your personal preferences. The first is more characteristic of male teams, the second - mixed and female.

Most often in the organization there are conflicts between the boss and subordinates, which account for before the occurrence of all conflict situations. This is not only the most common, but also the most dangerous type of conflict for a leader, as others look at the development of the situation and check the influence, authority, actions of their boss, all his actions and words are passed through a developing tense situation. The conflict must be resolved, otherwise the painful atmosphere will drag on and affect the results of the work of the entire team. To resolve the conflict first it is necessary to establish the cause of the conflict, On the surface, the situation may look completely different. To do this, the leader, if a dispute arose between subordinates, it is better to listen to both sides and try to understand the source of the disagreement. If your workers constantly quarrel over who took the wrong tool, check if they have enough tools, it is possible that they simply do not have enough, and they either do not dare to contact you or did not think about it. Then resolving the situation will only raise your authority as a leader, and the workers, seeing your interest in their work, will receive additional motivation. Or, for example, your accountant is constantly late and you have morning skirmishes with him because of this. The reason for the conflict may not be at all in his disorganization, but, for example, in the fact that otherwise she cannot send the child to kindergarten, then the transfer of the child or the shift in her work schedule will resolve the conflict and again add “points” to you in your relationship with the team. The main thing when a conflict arises is not to make hasty conclusions and not take urgent measures, but to stop and try to figure it out, looking at the situation from several sides. because design resolution conflict will lead to team building, growth of trust, improve the process of interaction between colleagues, improve the management culture of the enterprise. The extinguishing of the conflict transfers it to a “smoldering stage”, which can last for years, resulting in unjustified dismissals, low mood and efficiency, frequent illnesses of employees, and discontent. Therefore, an open conflict is already useful in that it allows you to reveal and express contradictions and, in the end, can lead to its complete resolution at the negotiating table. On the other hand, the conflict-free existence of the organization is far from being as cloudless as it seems. This may indicate inertia and indifference of employees, lack of development, lack of ideas, independence in decisions, unwillingness to emotionally give all the best at work, formal fulfillment of one's duties.

To effectively manage the organization, the manager needs to competently resolve conflicts, find common ground with his employees. Here is one example from my practice, such situations occur all the time in small family-type organizations. A young relative joins the established backbone of the old-timers of the business, who stood at the very origins of the company. He worked for a certain time in lower management positions, showed himself well, and they decided to promote him to the head of a department, which consists of people much older than him. On the first day, having introduced himself, he, mindful of his practice in other departments and other organizations, asks all subordinates present to give him a report on the work for last month. This was necessary for him to determine the situation and plan the further activities of the department. And then, quite unexpectedly for him, one of the ladies, his great aunt, openly expresses her defiance. Like, “the milk on the lips has not dried up yet to demand reports. Before you, Uncle Petya was in charge, so he coped without any reports and trusted people more. So no reports for you, Vovochka.”

The resulting conflict situation required a quick resolution. It was pointless to enter into an argument with a loud-voiced lady in front of the rest of the employees - you would lose your already quite undermined authority even more. Vladimir calmly asked Valentina Ivanovna to come to him for a cup of tea at the end of the working day and left. But quite often I had to deal with such situations when the leader decided to stop sabotage on the spot, entered into a skirmish with subordinates and often lost, losing even more authority, while the instigator acquired additional power of an informal leader and asserted himself at the expense of a weak leader.

Vladimir spent the whole day trying to understand where he made a mistake, he did not blame the woman's emotionality and absurdity for everything, but took a pencil and began to write down all the options for a conflict. Then he rejected a part, two remained, of which he decided to find the real one at a personal meeting. It was after learning in a conversation with an obstinate aunt true reason conflict, he worked out two solutions - to dismiss or to reassure that he was not going to dismiss.

He decided to start with the worst - he suggested that Valentina Ivanovna decided to sit him up, for the last month she had been more gossip and spread unflattering rumors about their future leader than she was performing her official duties. At the same time, he knew that, as the elder of the department, she had a certain authority among the employees, which was only strengthened by active confrontation with the new leader. In the end, her goal was to depose the youngster. For this occasion, he decided to show his strength and power, to have a further conversation in the spirit of "I'm the boss here, and you will either have to accept my terms of the game, or we part with you."

The second option was more optimistic, because it allowed the firm to retain a valuable enough employee.

It is possible that Valentina Ivanovna was simply offended because of the formal attitude towards her, like the rest. Perhaps because of her many years in the firm, she hoped that the new leader would first turn to her for advice, offer a heart-to-heart talk, come for help. And instead - the requirement of a "report", distrust, the requirement to confirm one's competence, a reproach for doing nothing and functional uselessness. Perhaps her sabotage is just a manifestation of stress, then it’s best to just talk about what suits her, what doesn’t, explain why a report is needed. Maybe it will just need to be replaced with the word "informational and analytical note", and Valentina Ivanovna's anger will subside. He will offer her to lead the training of new employees, which will give her additional significance and value. And at the end of the conversation, it is firm to say that in the future he will not allow such declarative statements in front of the entire team.

After weighing all the pros and cons, Vladimir began to wait for Valentina Ivanovna. Fortunately, it turned out that she was offended by the unfair, in her opinion, attitude of the young boss towards her, and the conflict was quickly resolved. In the future, Valentina Ivanovna became an excellent deputy to Vladimir, trained new employees and helped him in business with advice and deed.

So, in order to effectively manage a team, a leader needs to correctly assess the psychological situation in the team, correctly choose the leadership style and help strengthen a favorable moral and psychological climate in your organization. And this, first of all, is to notice the prerequisites for the emergence of conflicts in time, prevent them in a timely manner, be careful about choosing the right communication channel for building trusting relationships with subordinates, the ability to notice the unmet needs of your subordinates in time for the successful application of motivation systems, the ability to emerge from any situation as a leader .

It is this behavior of the leader that can rally the team and lead the organization out of the most difficult situations. Your authority will only strengthen over time, and your relatives will rightfully consider you the head of the family clan.

T.V. Shnurovozova

Professional conflicts are a necessary evil. We have to defend our point of view, point out to others their mistakes, get our way in the face of a lack of time or resources. Sometimes it is difficult and even painful, especially if not all parties to the conflict are ready to comply with the work ethic.

In a working environment, confrontation is part of the production process, and most often local skirmishes take place quickly and quite correctly: both sides understand their role and are result-oriented. As a result, labor conflicts already contain the grain of a compromise that just needs to be found. But sometimes we have to deal with those who “play dirty”, using the methods of everyday scandal in a work situation: getting personal, veiled or direct insults and substitution of concepts. Does everything to turn a constructive conversation into a domestic quarrel. What are the causes of such conflicts?

What does the aggressor stand for?

“A person voluntarily entering into conflict communication, as a rule, has already experienced a feeling of humiliation,” says psychologist Anatoly Dobin. This feeling, unfortunately, experienced by almost everyone, but for some people the experience of humiliation is devastating. For example, if it was received in childhood, from people significant to the child.

“Such people,” Anatoly Dobin continues, “are characterized by suspicion and the desire to constantly control their environment. Their goal is to prevent a repetition of the humiliation of their personality. Unfortunately, this manifests itself as resentment and a tendency to see an attack where there is none. When such a person is approached with job offers, he may mistake them for an attempt to belittle him as a person and professional.

There is a conflict, but not of interests, but of ideas about the situation. While one of the participants in the industrial conflict believes that we are talking about working issues that need to be discussed and moved on, the other believes that his honor and dignity are in danger, and therefore it is necessary to defend them immediately. Humiliate someone else's dignity.

The goal of the aggressor is to hurt, find the sensitive string of the interlocutor

Gender stereotypes are used (“women don’t understand anything”), insults based on age (“it’s still young to tell me”), hints of incompetence (“got it from an ad”) or someone’s patronage (“daddy attached it”). It may be direct and rude or veiled, but it is no less offensive for that. There are no taboo topics for the aggressor, and sooner or later he achieves his goal: hitting a sensitive string, he finally drags his interlocutor from a working situation into a domestic conflict.

It is worth at least once to respond to an insult with an insult, or even just show that the words hurt you, and the aggressor can celebrate a victory: working theme forgotten, the result is not achieved, but the nerves are frayed and human dignity is humiliated.

There is only one way to get out of a situation like this with honor: not to enter it. However, this is not about avoiding confrontation. The way to resolve a professional conflict is to consistently strive to keep the situation within the framework of working negotiations. Let the other try to offend or offend you, you must achieve a result, and only this matters. First of all, for this you need to control yourself.

How to avoid conflict

“If you lose control of yourself, you lose everything,” says psychologist Robert Bakel of the University of Toronto. - Manipulative behavior is aimed at evoking an emotional reaction in you, making you behave aggressively or, on the contrary, defend yourself. If we lose our temper, we are doing exactly what the manipulators want us to do. And we lose because we enter into a game that cannot be won. Self-control is required, and this is precisely the control of behavior. You can get angry or upset if that is your choice, but you need to watch your behavior.

Dr. Bakel suggests several simple rules, following which a polite, well-mannered, socialized person can emerge victorious from a labor conflict with an aggressive manipulator.

Do not rush to answer. Before you get into a conflict at work, think about how you can deal with the situation, experiencing and causing a minimum of unpleasant emotions. Only then act.

Yes, this means that you should take care not only of your feelings, but also of the feelings of your interlocutor. Remember that he is a man, even if he behaves inappropriately. That it might hurt him too. Moreover, he is in pain right now, and even if it is not your fault, it is in your power not to aggravate his suffering.

Pay attention to the speed and volume of your speech. An agitated person tends to speak faster and louder, forcing the interlocutor to also raise his voice. The faster the speech, the less thought in it and the higher the likelihood that something irreparable will be said. Do not hurry. Weigh your words.

If possible, take a time out. This does not mean that you need to shy away from conflict, but rather that you should put it off. If you see that your opponent is seething with negative emotions, suggest that he reschedule the conversation. “I'm not ready to talk to you about this now. Let's make an appointment for tomorrow." This way you get time to prepare and your opponent time to cool down. In addition, since the conflict occurs in the team and in front of colleagues, it is possible that one of them uses their influence to calm the aggressor.

Don't take risks. Sometimes it seems to us that one well-aimed blow - for example, a good joke or a particularly deadly argument - can end the confrontation. But what works so well on sitcoms rarely works in real life. Be correct and don't try to end everything in one fell swoop.

Focus on results. We get what we focus on. If someone behaves aggressively and provokes you into conflict, you can focus on insults, and then there will only be more of them. And you can translate the conversation into a constructive direction, leaving provocations and insults behind the scenes. And that brings us to the main recommendation.

Words that will help in confrontation

• "Yes". Even arguments against must begin with the word "yes" - it is natural for a person to calm down when they agree with him.
• "We". Not “we are against you”, but “we are with you”. Try to include yourself and another participant in the conflict in the same social group: people are more likely to take the side of representatives of “their tribe”.
• "I understand that you are upset" - in response to all attempts to insult you. Thus, you simultaneously reject the offense and grant forgiveness for it.
• “It's really not easy” and other phrases that will show that you realize that your opponent is having a hard time, but the situation requires additional efforts.
• “I heard you” is almost a forbidden technique. Use only if the negative argumentation has gone in a circle, and this is the third circle.
• “Let's both take a time out and meet in an hour (at three, tomorrow at ten)” - if you understand that the interlocutor, under the onslaught of emotions, has lost touch with reality.

Don't take the "bait"."Bait" are words that have no other purpose than to make you lose self-control, control over yourself and over the course of the conversation. Having lost your temper, you give the reins of government into the hands of a person who is not inclined to look after your interests. All swearing, all insults, all sexist, racist remarks are “bait” designed to distract us from the essence of the labor conflict. The answer to them is simple: "I understand that you are upset, but the work must be done."

Don't give in. Don't fight back. Don't pretend that you even noticed this blow. All it takes is to stick to your line.

Yes. This is hard. The person who is trying to hurt you right now may be cruel. But it is up to you to decide whether his attempts will succeed. It's up to you to decide if it really hurts. By the way, the pain will subside as soon as you get your way: for example, promising to complete the work by Wednesday, provide technical support or give funding. The result is an amazing healer for a wounded soul, and only he, by and large, matters. Of course, if we are talking about work, not love.

No one is immune from a conflict situation at work. Any employee at least once himself was a participant in such a conflict, or observed it from the outside. Not everyone thinks about how to resolve the conflict at work, and prefer to act impulsively. But such knowledge is necessary for every worker: someday they will come in handy.

How to avoid work conflict

To begin with, here are a few rules, adhering to which, you are likely to be able to avoid conflict situations at work.

1. Choose the right place to work. Many conflicts arise due to the fact that the employee is not satisfied with a small salary, lack of career growth, and so on. When you are at the stage of an interview in a company, you need to find out well all the points that are important to you. At the very least, you can definitely find out about the possibility of career growth.
2. Know your responsibilities. Conflicts often arise when an employee misunderstands his job responsibilities. Or one of his colleagues brazenly tries to shove his work onto him. Therefore, you need to understand your job responsibilities well. As a rule, in all positions there is a job description and of course, it must be followed. But, as they say, "if you want to piss everyone off - act within the instructions." Therefore, periodic assistance to colleagues in their work, periodic fulfillment of requests from superiors “to do something that is not included in their direct duties” is not ruled out. It is important here not to allow you to sit on your neck and be able to gently refuse.
3. Learn to listen to other people's points of view. Often conflicts arise because of the discrepancy between the points of view of colleagues on a particular working issue. It is important to be able to listen to someone whose opinion is different from yours.
4. Do not give a reason for conflict: exclude delays, rudeness, rudeness on your part.
5. Don't get involved in gossip. From gossip, the most unpleasant conflict can be born - interpersonal. Unlike the worker, it is much more difficult to overcome it. If you do not gossip at work, then reduce the likelihood of interpersonal conflict at times.

If, nevertheless, a conflict has occurred, try the following recommendations.

Conflict with a colleague

Often a conflict with a colleague ends in mutual alienation. It's not so scary, because the job was created in order to work, and not to make friends, buddies. It is much worse when they start to be rude, rude, and even set you up. In this case:

1. Don't try to pay back with the same coin. Cold courtesy will suffice. On the other hand, this does not mean that direct insults should be tolerated. If a colleague crosses all boundaries, you need to calmly answer something like: “Sorry, Maria Ivanovna, I can’t continue talking to you in a similar tone. I'm ready to continue after your apology." Such a phrase will confuse the offender, since insults are aimed at evoking emotions in you.
2. Do not discuss what happened with colleagues. Work is work, and even the colleague you thought was your friend may not be.
3. Don't overreact. It's hard to contain your emotions, but you try. What now, because of every fool weep and quit? If you feel that you are going to cry now or do something rash, leave the office and go to neutral territory. For example, to the toilet. Take it easy.
4. Talk to your superiors. This is in case one of your colleagues openly scoffs at you or starts to set you up. Do not be afraid that you will be considered a scammer. It is important to present the information correctly here. For example, start by saying how much you value your job and are very upset that your productivity may be reduced due to disagreements in the team.

If you work in a large company, then it may have a special conflict resolution service - compliance. Find out about its availability and, if anything, contact there.

Conflict with boss

In a conflict with the boss, everything is a little more complicated. As soon as you understand that a conflict has occurred (let's say your boss rudely yelled at you), do not try to object and yell back. Do not try to prove to the boss that you are actually a good employee and that he should treat you like this in vain. Listen to everything to the end and silently leave (do not slam the door). Analyze the situation. Perhaps you really made a mistake somewhere.

The main signs by which you can determine the correctness of the authorities:

1. It is only your work that is criticized, not your personality;
2. You were regularly made comments on the same shortcoming in the work (for example, on the timing of the work);
3. Have you been dissatisfied with your work by other colleagues;
4. The boss is dissatisfied because your actions lead to negative consequences for the company (for example, it receives fines for delaying your work);
5. You are not scolded in front of all your colleagues, but only face to face.

If you yourself are to blame, then later go to the boss and say that you understood your mistakes and will try not to make them in the future. If possible, offer solutions to the problem. Understand the criteria for evaluating work. If necessary, ask for help if you do not understand something in the work.

But it also happens that you got undeservedly from the authorities. It may well be that the boss was just not in a good mood. Especially if the conflict happened to you for the first time. Therefore, if you come in some time after the conflict and say something like “Ivan Ivanovich, could you once again express your complaints about my work?”, It may turn out that there are no complaints.

It may also happen that the authorities simply do not like you. The following may indicate this:

1. It is not only and not so much your work that is being criticized, but your personality. For example, you don't talk like that, you don't look like that, and so on.
2. There is contempt in the chief's voice; you feel like the boss gets pleasure from the comments.
3. Dissatisfaction is expressed to you regularly, but on different occasions and at different times.
4. The boss yells at you in front of colleagues.
5. The boss cannot adequately say by what criteria he evaluates the work.

Getting out of this situation is not easy. The main thing is not to become an eternal victim. Try to stop attempts to criticize your personality. And most importantly, always stay calm. By responding with aggression to aggression, you give your boss a reason to yell at you again and again. Try to clarify the boundaries of your work area, your responsibilities, criteria for evaluating work, and deadlines for completing work more often.

If you can’t get out of the conflict, you can involve the bosses of your boss in the case. But this only happens in big companies. If your company does not have this - well, you will probably have to look for a new job. Do not be nervous all your life because of the boss-tyrant.

Video

Video materials will help you understand how to resolve work conflicts.