Personal opinion is a sign of a strong personality. How to form your opinion. Why is it important to have an opinion and not be afraid to express it?

I often hear about how important it is to have your own opinion regarding almost all issues, even those in which a person thinks absolutely nothing. This is what we call freedom, which we all supposedly need. In fact, not many people need this, and those who nevertheless express their opinion, as a rule, have a specific goal, the essence of which is to influence a person in order to force him to act in his own interests. But about everything in order, according to the correct arrangement of thoughts, in which we will find out with you whether you need your opinion and, if necessary, why. To begin with, I want to tell you that I have nothing against you having your own opinion. It is good when you think with your own head and try to look at everything with your own eyes, and do not take on faith other people's thoughts and ideas. However, expressing your opinion is a completely different matter, in which you already begin to influence other people in a certain way, in any case, you are making an attempt to do so. Well, you have your own opinion, so what? Why say it, for what purpose?

Imagine married couple and, say, one of their children, who, let's say, will be ten years old. On the day off, the family is going to have a great time together, for which they need to decide how they will actually spend it. At the same time, each family member may have his own opinion regarding this, the father wants to go fishing, the mother will go to visit, and the child may want to take a walk in the park and ride the rides. And what will happen if they all begin to express their opinion on how best to spend the day off, without insisting on their point of view, but it seems like just like that? Just as you yourself understand, nothing happens, and on the one hand, defending your point of view will lead to conflict, or someone will have to abandon their plans, that is, sacrifice their opinion and their desire, which this opinion promotes, in favor of the world and consent.

Moreover, here it may also be that a more powerful family member can simply force the others to do as he wants, which in turn makes it meaningless to have his own opinion, which is simply unable to translate his desire into reality, which underlies his opinions. And defending one's point of view, which will lead to conflict, is somehow not relevant for a family that should be friendly. In this way, it turns out that it seems to be useful to have your own opinion, but without being able to defend your interests, it is pointless to express it, if only. For example, if in the above family, someone decides to defend their point of view on how the family should spend the weekend, and at the same time not call conflict situation, or a feeling of oppression among those whose point of view will be left without attention, as well as a possible impact on a family member who has more power, then he needs to convince others of the correctness of his decision, to put it forward as the only true one.

In addition, this can be presented as a decision that the rest of the family members seem to have come to on their own, you only formulated its final version, according to which, the only right decision will be a decision that reflects exactly your interests. Of course, only a smart and cunning member of the family can do this, which is why I cited as an example a child who will be forced to obey, or it is pointless to express his dissatisfaction, despite the fact that he was allowed to express his opinion, but at the same time spit on his desire. Of course, parents can be more loyal towards their child, and sometimes do as he wants, but at the same time, it is obvious that adults will not follow his lead, this is simply stupid and will not lead to anything good. You can increase the scale of this family to the size you need, the meaning of this will not change. You can thus look at any team, at the country, and at the world, the essence is the same.

Your opinion is meaningless precisely when you express it, without a clear hope that they will listen to it, that is, if it is not able to influence or you are not able to defend your point of view, forcing everyone to agree with it and therefore act in your interests. Why do people argue, defending their point of view, why is it so important for them to convince others to think this way and not otherwise? After all, the spoken word is always aimed at the material embodiment, otherwise it would not make sense to speak it. However, only an unconsciously living person can claim that he is saying something just like that, expressing his opinion, because he has the right to do so, and again he just needs to show people that they are mistaken. In general, it doesn’t matter how a person argues for expressing his opinion and convincing others in it, since he either has a goal and does not recognize it, or he himself does not understand what he is doing and why, that is, he does not understand how his opinion is connected with his interests.

Obviously one thing Friendly family maybe only if everyone adheres to one opinion, one point of view, and not to pull the blanket each in his own direction, everyone has heard the fable about the swan, cancer and pike. So do you need your opinion, my friends, which of your interests do you want to realize through influence on other people, if you decide to actively express your opinion? If you do not see such goals and you just want to tell others what you think about this or that event, person, decision, and so on, congratulations, you are one of the ninety-nine percent of the population living an unconscious life. It is this figure that psychologists say, as they thought, I don’t know, but they are probably right, because even I can confirm this, giving an assessment to most of the people with whom I had a chance to communicate.

The ability to stand your ground is highly valued in the business world. The ability to defend one's point of view, as well as to convince others of one's own rightness, is the quality of a leader who does not want to be led by other people's desires, but wants other people to do his will. If such people did not know how to insist on their own, then it is possible that today we would not see so many bright products from Apple, and perhaps this office would not exist at all. The ability to defend one's point of view means in many ways not to succumb to manipulations and techniques from the psychology of influence. When you defend your opinion, you take responsibility for yourself and your life in your own hands, and do not go with the flow.

Standing up for one's point of view can mean disagreeing with what everyone else agrees with and always looking at everything critically. It doesn't mean slamming your fist on the table every chance you get and yelling like crazy. But this means not to be offended and to have an independent view of people, events and phenomena.

It is possible that the series "Doctor House" is just attracted by the fact that in it main character has an opinion on everything and generally does a lot of things that each of us would be afraid to do. At the same time, he is valued and respected for this, and tolerated, because. his course of action saves people.

How to defend your opinion

A risky tactic that I personally use is simply a physical boycott of your interlocutor. When my ex-girlfriend started eating my brain out of the blue, I just physically left, not wanting to listen to all this nonsense. It didn't look too masculine. But this is much better than waiting for the moment when I, with my balanced character, eventually explode and lose control of myself. The method works great for both bosses and work colleagues. You just put a bolt on them all. For example, you write a letter of resignation. In such cases, sometimes it is possible to knock out amazingly favorable conditions for the work schedule while maintaining the same salary. When people around you break into cold sweat and they understand that you are not joking and you can really throw everything to hell no matter what, they begin to treat you more carefully, I understand that this person has it and he will stop at nothing . Something like this is written in the personal file in the military registration and enlistment office that I am "on my own mind." But what I do at work is not for everyone. I have had occasion to yell at my own boss and bring colleagues to hysterics. Frankly speaking, all this does not always work productively. And what do psychologists say about how to defend your opinion?

1. The first thing to understand is that you should have your own opinion and should not allow someone else's opinion to be imposed. Regardless of whether the surrounding colleagues support you or not, you have your own head on your shoulders and you should not agree to everything that they try to impose on you. Often there is a crowd effect when people look at each other and do "like everyone else." I had a case when the whole group had to come to the university to work out. We came, but what exactly to do - they promised to tell us only after one pair (!). People began to resent and go home. At the same time, I said that I would stay and do everything myself. Tell the rest to go home. As a result, almost the entire group stayed with me and spent a subbotnik at the department. Sometimes you need to have the courage to take the first step and do what you think is right, and then you will be supported (although this is not always the case).
2. The ability to insist on one's own means also the ability say a firm "no". You have had cases when you were asked for something, you agreed to it (without much thought), and then it turned out that keeping the promise turned out to be a burden and interferes with your own plans. Once I took over for a colleague on a Saturday morning. In response, I did not wait for someone to replace me personally. I did not receive any benefit for myself or gratitude. Paradoxical, isn't it? We have the right to say a firm no, we have the right not to answer unnecessary phone calls, we have the right to choose, and we also have the right to ask for what we need. Moreover, we have every right to make independent decisions, regardless of what others think.
3. Someone's mind about you or what you do shouldn't bother you too much even if it is expressed in swear words (this is often the case with popular video bloggers). The other person is also entitled to their opinion and may have reasons to think differently about something. However, this is just his opinion about it, it will not necessarily be correct even if this opinion is expressed by an authoritative person. If you are still influenced by someone else's opinion, then you should think about whether this influence is so useful and maybe you can read our material about that.
4. When you defend your idea is a great opportunity to formulate it succinctly and weigh the pros and cons yourself. Plus, listen to constructive criticism from other people. After all, you may hear from other people more sensible proposals on a deprecated issue. Truth can indeed be born in a dispute. On the other hand, it may happen that the other side agrees with your point of view. Having run your idea in various discussions and disputes, you get it in a clearer form and it becomes more mature and meaningful.
5. In order to defend your point of view, you need to pump your communication skills. Simply put, you need to learn how to communicate with other people. There are many cases when a person is not even able to put together a few words or has problems with intelligibility of speech and rhetoric. Everything is important - and what exactly we say, as well as in what manner we present it. We are treated the way we deserve. When arguing with another person, you need to remain calm and respect the other side. Otherwise, it can get out of control and nothing constructive as a result will simply come out, psychologists say. In defending your point of view, you need initiative, as well as self-control.
6. Learn the psychology of influence. There are interesting books on this subject. For example, Robert Cialdini's books "The Psychology of Influence". People have some unconscious points, by pressing on which we can influence them in our interests. The same thing can happen to you as well. You may be tested on various cunning ways of persuasion, which you can succumb to. But when you are familiar with these methods of persuasion, then these methods of manipulation will no longer work on you. In any case, you will be aware that you are being pressured in cunning ways. To defend your point of view, it is also advisable to find out a little information about your colleague with whom you are arguing. Each person has a slightly different psychology and values.
7. Psychologists recommend using special argumentation technologies. For example, in rhetoric, a method is used when you constantly agree with the ideas of the opponent, and then suddenly cross out all his above thoughts with the help of one, but very strong argument. There is another technique when the interlocutor is led to such answers that he constantly answers “Yes”. Research shows that when a person agrees with you several times on minor issues, it becomes much easier to bring him to his point of view on more serious issues. You can also search the net for other methods, such as the "turning" method and the "salami" method.
8. Defending your opinion, you need to understand when to do it openly, and when it is inappropriate. Moreover, you need to understand what issues should be discussed at all, and what will be bad manners. Moreover, you need to observe decency in a dispute and know exactly how to build objections so that the environment perceives you normally and understands your arguments. You should not say something on emotions, as you can say a lot of superfluous things.
9. During collisions with the interlocutor, he may be wrong three times and completely disagree with you. However, he himself, most likely, believes that he is right. Instead of throwing accusations at him, you should at least try to put yourself in his place and understand why he holds the opposite opinion. Perhaps something happened to him in the past, which he is very afraid of, or maybe it’s not so important for him what is important for you?
10. We must be prepared for the fact that we not even the closest will understand people. This is fine. In the same way, you may not find support in a team or circle of friends. We are all different and everyone has their own idea of ​​what life should be like. You shouldn't be offended by them. They probably want to save you from the mistakes that they themselves went through. Before brushing aside their criticisms, one should try to understand them too. But do it anyway.
11. Even if you failed to convince the interlocutor of your point of view, don't lose face and be hysterical. There is also no need to get angry or show your psycho about it. The consequences of such behavior can reach a complete break in relations, which is not always reasonable. The best thing is to show calmness, to beat not with emotions, but with arguments. In case they agreed with your opinion, just thank your colleague for listening and hearing you.

The best confirmation of your point of view

Defending your opinion in words is useful. Banging the table with your fist is no longer fashionable and not very beautiful. At the same time, nothing convinces people like real actions. Practice shows that the initiative and real steps towards the goal have a much stronger effect on people than words. And even if something doesn’t work out for you in the end, you can safely say that you at least tried.

The world is full various people, each of which is an individuality, personality. allow us have your own opinion sometimes even different from the opinions of the majority.

Good or bad: have your own opinion in a team, society, family, social group? Let's start from the opposite.

Often there are situations in life when someone else's opinion is imposed on us. A person who does not have his own opinion will meekly put up with such a situation; people who are afraid to express their opinion will perhaps be indignant in their hearts, but will not object to anything out loud.

And only those who are accustomed have personal opinion and to express it in a timely manner, will not follow the lead of someone else's opinion if it contradicts his personal interests.

This is a clear example of the usefulness of your own opinion. It is necessary to defend personal interests, but it can also bring collective benefits.

So, in business, more than one person is often involved, each of which is the bearer of a personal opinion. can be made, for example, a proposal to act according to a plan similar to the actions of competitors.

But you have a different opinion on this matter. You think that it would be much more profitable to do otherwise. If you give your opinion, you bring common cause undeniable benefit. Well, if you keep silent, then you will silently watch how your business is moving along the wrong path.

Even if you do not belong to the leading persons in the enterprise, your personal opinion can benefit the entire company. Leaders are people too, which means they can make mistakes.

If you find a clear error in the calculations or plans of the management, which may adversely affect the functioning of the company, then it is better to express your opinion in a delicate form to the authorities. If you are afraid to do this directly with the boss, then you can contact his deputies or assistants.

Often it is necessary not only to express one's own opinion, but also to defend it, because there will always be those who want to refute it, recognize it as unviable.

For such a confrontation, you will need the ability to argue, correctly, logically and consistently give reasonable, objective arguments that you are right.

It should not be based on emotions, and here you should not rely on possible, conjectural constructions: “It seems to me”, “Probably”, “Maybe”, “Most likely”.

Your opinion should have a main, clearly formulated thesis (main idea), and you should always have weighty arguments ready to support the thesis.

Imagine that you are running a political election campaign and telling the audience about the benefits of living in a state with your direct political participation.

Express your opinion in such a way that it becomes understandable, accessible to all opponents, and most importantly - so that its performance, functionality, and practical significance are reliably understood.

But there is also a downside to my own opinion. If your opinion turns out to be wrong in the end, and it is pointed out to you, then be honest with yourself and others and admit your own mistakes.

There is absolutely nothing shameful about this. Wise is not the one who shouts at every corner that he is the smartest, but who is reasonable in everything, including in recognizing the wrongness of his actions, deeds, opinions.

Today have your own opinion it is necessary for everyone, whether it be a businessman, a politician or just a student, a housewife.

People who follow the public stamps, stereotypes, fashion lose their true appearance, individuality, merging into numerous masses of the same type of crowd. . This makes our world beautiful in its diversity.

Instruction

Look for people who freely express their thoughts. Pay attention to how they argue their position, what methods of persuasion they use and how listeners react to them.

Practice on your own. During a conversation, find controversial points and try to mentally connect them with your point of view. For example, watch a TV talk show on a topic that interests you. When opposing sides defend their position, become an opponent of one of the sides. Try to mentally form your opinion on the issue under discussion, give arguments.

Believe in yourself. Your ideas, thoughts are as important in a conversation as the statements of the interlocutor. Don't be afraid to be disagreed with or misunderstood. Do not doubt that you are right.

Have an internal dialogue with yourself. Ask yourself the question - why did you not express your position in this or that situation, what prevented you. Finding the reason for your silence, try to overcome it. For example, you are hindered by self-doubt during a conversation with your boss at work. You need to understand what your opinion m are usually interested in those issues in which you understand. You are approached because you are a professional in the matter under discussion.

Ignore the environment, distractions and embarrassing factors that often prevent you from correctly formulating your thoughts, choosing the right words. Keep replenishing your vocabulary, read more. After reading an interesting book, article, or watching a TV show, discuss it with your friends and family members. Start keeping a personal diary.

Try to express yourself opinion as often as possible in different conditions- in the family circle, with friends, in public places. Over time, shyness and constraint will disappear, and express your opinion will be simpler.

Sources:

• How to learn to speak your mind
• have your own opinion

Own opinion is what distinguishes people from each other. Sometimes people accept an imposed way of life, then their individual view of things remains somewhere inside, crushed and unspoken. Learning to stand up for your own opinion is very important if you want to get the maximum satisfaction from living your years.

Instruction

Do not infringe on your interests. Your own opinion reflects your position regarding any statement or situation. It is formed on the basis of analysis and deep reflection. Draw conclusions in favor of your assessments and interests. They may partially coincide with the opinion of the majority, but the latter should not be to your detriment. Otherwise, it will already be your opinion, therefore, you simply will have nothing to defend.

Filter incoming information. Don't rely on other people's judgments. Do not be distracted by topics and conversations that are useless to you. Value your time. After all, its waste deprives you of many opportunities. This is how you defend your right to your own opinion.

Build confidence in your views. Explore topics that interest you to strengthen your own opinion. If any information directly or indirectly concerns you, do not take on faith the publicly available facts, check them, find additional reliable sources. Take from them only what you need.

Be true to your beliefs. Society dictates its rhythm and priorities. Your neighbor or colleague has new job, new car. Don't try to keep up with him. If your old car has the capabilities you need, why change it? If a new job requires a huge amount of time from you, deprives you of communication with loved ones and leads to constant stress, why do you need such a job? To defend your position, always remember that by succumbing to your priorities, you risk losing more than you gain.

Act in your best interest. Don't be afraid to break stereotypes. Stereotypical thinking is not your thinking. At first, the crowd will resist and interfere with you. But then, due to the lack of patience and determination, she will retreat. And you will go about your business, you no longer have to defend your point of view.

Useful advice

Justify each of your statements. Any of your thoughts should have a basis.

In disputes, there are always losers and those who have proved their case. For the most part, I want to be second, not first. But it is not always easy to conduct discussions so that they do not turn into swearing, but convey your thoughts to the person correctly.

Instruction

Set a clear goal for yourself. Don't think abstractly, but decide what you want to achieve with this conversation. Formulate in advance what you are going to say. The phrases should be short and clear so that the interlocutor does not lose the thread of your reasoning in the middle of a flowery example.

Don't forget who you are talking to. All people are different. Some will not respond to emotional methods of persuasion, while others will not respond to rational ones. For example, some follow logic. When speaking with such a person, you must use facts and reliable information, as well as maintain a formal style of communication. Emotional people are attached to feelings, but remember, the less you know a person, the less they will be affected by arguments based on your feelings.

Watch out for the facts you provide. Put yourself in your opponent's shoes and determine which arguments will "beat" him in the discussion. Try to present them in the following order: first - strong, then - medium, then - the strongest counterargument. It is better not to admit weak facts at all. There is an opinion that what was said at the beginning and end is well embedded in the memory.

Respect your opponent. If you show respect for his opinions and beliefs, the interlocutor will not need to defend himself from you. This will make the persuasion process easier.

Don't belittle yourself. Don't apologize for your opinion. Ask for forgiveness as little as possible, otherwise you will seem insecure.

Start with what unites you. If it's hard to come to an agreement, start with what you and the other person have in common, rather than the reason for the disagreement.

Listen and understand what is being said to you. Misunderstanding will only prevent you from convincing your opponent. Listen to him, do not interrupt and ask clarifying questions.

Convince the interlocutor that the idea came from him. People trust themselves more than others. Use phrases like: "Remember, you yourself said ..." "Your words prompted me to think ...". Let your interlocutor feel that at least part of what you have proposed is his own ideas.

Related videos

There are times when you don't want to be noticed. But is it possible to make the person you talked to just forget about you in a day? Or get lost in the crowd so that they do not show interest in you and do not remember? Experts say that it is not difficult at all if you follow some simple rules.

Instruction

Usually people are drawn to communicate with those who instinctively, as it were, “stretch to the world”, i.e. he wants to open up. But if you do not want to be interested in you, show your indifference to others. If you lower your head, direct your gaze "inside yourself" or at the ground and try to quickly pass by a person without hurting his attention, then most likely he will not remember that he saw you.

When someone meets a stranger, then the first thing that draws attention to is the appearance of the interlocutor and his manner of dressing. Therefore, in order not to stand out from the crowd of people around you, try to dress the same way as they do. Your clothes should be of average quality, discreet, without bright, memorable details, pendants, brooches and other noticeable jewelry, perhaps gray, dark blue or brown.

Take care also to have nondescript makeup and modestly combed hair. If you have an unusual hair color, wear a dark hat, but only, of course, appropriate in this situation. Think about whether you have any individual marks on your face or exposed parts of your body. If possible, they should be covered or masked.

If you need to come to some event and remain invisible, try to get to it a little earlier, but not first. It is very good if you settle in an inconspicuous corner and just look out the window, read a book, newspaper or magazine, without communicating with anyone.

You will not be noticed in a group of people if you give the impression of a member of the attendants. Even if they turn to you and ask you to do something, then, with a high degree of probability, they will not remember. But, of course, only when you yourself do not attract attention to yourself.

Listen to what is being said around you and don't try to express your opinion. If you still have to enter into a conversation, then try not to look at your interlocutor and not show any initiative in the dialogue. When asked about something, answer politely, and no more. You can just assent, give monosyllabic, indifferent answers, or shrug your shoulders. Your task in this case is not to cause irritation in a person. After a while, he himself will lose interest in you and the desire to continue the conversation.

However, often people refuse to accept the possibility of the existence of other points of view, taking them a priori false. They are stubborn and try to prove that only their opinion is true and has the right to exist, which causes resentment among interlocutors and others.

It makes no sense to say that this situation has not affected anyone. Egocentric manifestations are inherent in everyone, especially perfectionists.

However, one should not reproach a person only for his craving for smoking, for the fact that smoking brings him comfort and satisfaction. You can resort to burnt lungs to scare a smoker, but you should not seriously assume that he will accept this and correct himself. The only conclusion for him will be that it is worth spending much less time with the propagandist, otherwise it will be repeated from time to time.

When people give their opinion, don't expect the other person to readily accept it and follow their advice. This is stupid to say the least. If, for some reason, such a situation nevertheless occurred, only one conclusion can be drawn: the opponent has not yet matured to the personality.

An interesting fact is that often extreme views regarding the situation can teach us and, more importantly, save us in life. An example of this is surrogate motherhood.

Purely hypothetically, we can assume that the vast majority will see him as a world evil. However, many childless mothers who for some reason have lost the ability to bear children will see this opportunity as their last chance for happy life and family happiness.

From all of the above, the thesis follows: you should not try to change the opinion of another person in accordance with your own. You have to be more tolerant of those around you. Perhaps then the world will become a grain of good more.

How much our own opinion depends on the opinions of others us people? Since life in society involves communication with other people, willy-nilly, we have to listen to what others say to us and about us. Some listen to the words of chosen people, the so-called authorities, others pay attention to the sidelong glance of a passerby, and for some, the most important thing is the point of view of loved ones.

The degree of dependence on someone else's opinion is different. And this degree largely determines human behavior. Those people who are able to adequately respond to the comments, opinions of others and extract the necessary information from them can deservedly be called independent and confident. Conversely, if a person is unable to stand up for your opinion, constantly relies only on the opinions of others, before doing anything, most likely, weak-willed, withdrawn and not self-confident.

To understand how to relate to the opinions of others, you need to understand a few points:

• What is opinion and how is it formed?
• What effect do the opinions of others have on us?
• What goals can be pursued by a person who is trying to instill in us his point of view.

Opinion is more a vision or assessment of a situation by one or another person. Each of us adds up our assessment based on our own or borrowed experience, knowledge, and skills. Therefore, everyone judges according to what he managed to learn in his life, as well as based on his personal convictions and character traits. Consequently, personal opinion of any person cannot be considered the only true and correct, and cannot be imposed as an axiom on other people.

It should also be remembered that human environment consists not only of well-wishers (parents, friends, buddies and just good people), which, although not always, can give useful advice by expressing your opinion. Our circle of communication also includes people (enemies, envious, competitors ...) whose opinion and whose advice can harm us. Often they pursue their goals, wanting us to act in a certain way. Surely everyone knows what is human manipulation?! Words, phrases, expressions - this is the main power of the manipulator. He skillfully touches the most secret strings that make us perform certain actions in response.

It is clear to everyone that friends wish us well, and enemies wish us bad. But do these desires always produce the corresponding result? Of course not. Opinion of others, even if very close, may not always be pleasant and not always useful and truthful. For example, a mother who overprotects her child out of good intentions tries to protect him from everything bad, to save him from difficulties and troubles. The child takes it for granted, parents always do everything well and correctly. And as a result, a dependent child grows up, unable to solve any problems on its own, which, until old age, will hide behind its mother's skirt.

It doesn't matter if you have a positive or negative opinion. It is important to think about it, weigh the pros and cons and draw conclusions. After all, if it is said, it means that there were some reasons, factors that gave rise to the opinion. It is worth listening to any opinion, listening and drawing conclusions: good or bad. But it must be decisive personal opinion– it should play a decisive role. And if it turns out to be erroneous, then you need to be able to rebuild and form your own opinion on the opinions of others and make a decision based on it. If you don’t want to offend a person close to you, although you consider his judgments and suggestions to be erroneous, you can agree with them, but do your own thing.

At the end of this article I want to quote Napoleon Hill: “ Opinion is the cheapest commodity in the world. Ask anyone - and he will give you a whole bouquet. And if, when making a decision, you will be based on someone else's opinion, and not on your own, then you will not succeed in anything, least of all in turning desire into money.»

I suggest you look at the parable “Do not listen to the opinions of others”, which explains better than any words how sometimes the opinions of others can be confusing.

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